Monday, May 2, 2011

The Wild and Wonderful Whites of West Virginia

If for the rest of your life you could only watch one movie, choose The Wild and Wonderful Whites of West Virginia. It's the best decision you'll ever make.

This is a documentary made by Dickhouse productions, which you may or may not recognize as the creator of Jackass. It follows the White family of West Virginia for one year, and the footage will entertain you, blow your mind, make you want to visit Boone County, and quite possibly make you curl up in the fetal position.

The family tree provides an accurate outline of the cast, who are all descendants of Bertie Mae and D. Ray White. This family is a product of the Appalachian Mountain (coal-mining) culture, and they single-handedly account for the majority of the county's crime. Almost every member of the family receives a monthly government check of some variety, or "crazy checks", as the Whites say. They don't work; they drink, fight, and do/sell every pain killer you can imagine. In fact, one of the characters actually shakes a prescription pill bottle in his hand and calls the sound the "Boone County mating call."

Let me give you an idea of what goes on in this family. Kirk, a grown woman who is probably twenty years younger than she looks, is pregnant and gives birth during the shooting of the film. The day after she delivers, while her baby sleeps next to her in the hospital room, she crushes up and snorts lines of pain killers with her friend, and then proclaims that her baby girl will be the next Miss Universe. Oh, and Kirk's shocked and appalled when Child Protective Services takes the kid away from her. This is just the tip of the iceberg.

This is obviously disturbing and at times inconceivable, but there is something about this family that draws you in; an intangible charm and a desire to know them, to figure them out. Their antics, and even more so, their proclamations, are so absurd and over the top that you can't help but be amused. They are all so delirious from drugs that even adventures as mundane as the Taco Bell drive-through become hilarious. Complications arise when one character, Sue Bob, tries to order "fiestas" and mozzarella cheese sticks, then shouts an entire conversation about Child Protective Services at some acquaintances through the glass window.

If you're still not convinced, I'll leave you with a quote from Jesco White:

"I took the butcher knife and put it up to her neck. And I said, 'If you wanna live to see tomorrow, you better start fryin' up them eggs a little bit better than what you been fryin' them'."

Believe me, you won't regret it.

http://www.wildandwonderfulwhites.com/trailer/

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